Who am I

Hi bloggers!

I am sorry for not posting about a week? Everything was so frustrated and I don't know what is happening with me, sometimes I am so happy that I can do everything and then I can cry and never be ok again.

I have really strange dreams tonight. Teachers found mv blog and they were all so worry and stuff. And I am afraid, what if this really happens. What Will I do?

I was thinking, that I deleted everything and just deal with myself.
And then, Well I don't know what I am supposed to do.
It's just, so many things are happening right now and I don't know what I want I just don't, I don't know, I really don't.

Ugh, anyway, hope you all have a great christmas and see u soon.
bye cutiepies xx

From Anxiety too big plans and HAPPINESS

These days are back.


It was about 8 pm and we were drinking tea and eating biscuits.
I don't know how many I ate but I wasn't feeling well. It was too much for me.


I eat too much now. Everyday, too damn much. I am afraid to check my weight.
I am not fat. And I am not skinny. And either I am not happy with myself. I go to gym twice a week. But now I can't. I must wait till New year. I mean I want to be healthy and I want to lose weight, like 10 kilograms would be perfect. And I Will do that, because I can. I don't eat much sweets, I guess. I tried without them and I can do it, but when I don't feel like it, I just eat idk piece of chocolate. And then I feel really bad. And yeah. This is happening. And I think: You will not eat tomorrow much.
Tomorrow everythin will be different. I will make a plan. And I gonna write about that on my blog.
And I will tell you everything.


1. No sweets!
2. Whatch what I eat and how much!
3. Be proud of myself!
4. Check weight every day!
5. Be healthy!
6. Study!
7. Spend 3 hours away from computer!
8. Be happy and do things I love!
9. Write everything and put this on internet!
10.


Why I decided to do that:
I wanna wear skate skirts and stuff in summer and I wanna be happy with my body, I wanna be confident with myself. I wanna go out and show people what I do, how hard I worked, etc.


I know that I can wear skirts now. Everbody can wear what they want no matter what!
YES! they can. But they must be confident in their own body! And I am not, And I gonna work on this, With every single day I gonna be better and stronger!


And I gonna wear everything what I can't wear before. And I will be so damn proud of myself. And everbody gonna watch me. And all this people will just stare at me like I am made of gold.


I will post pictures there, when I gonna be happy with myself. And we all gonna be happy.


I am so excited right now and it hurts some how that I am alone in this. But I can do this. Yes, I can!


I just can't wait for results!


See you tomorrow cutiepies, night xx

No limit

Hello bloggers, I saw this on tumblr and yes.

 

 

1.Kissed a girl? NO

2.Kissed a boy? NO

3.Had sex in public? NO

4.What’s your religion? Christian

5.What does your URL mean? PURE HEROIN?

6.Reason you joined tumblr? IMAGINES

7.Do you have any nicknames? YES

8.Do you like bubble bath? YES

9.Kissed in the rain? No

10.Dyed your hair? YES

11.Soup or salad? SALAD

12.Vegetable or meat? VEGEATABLE

13.Go out drinking? NO

14.Smoke cigarettes? YES

15.Smoke weed? NO

16.Do any hard drugs? NO

17.Have you had sex today? NO

18.Have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms? YES

19.The relationship between you and the person you last texted? IDK

20.Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes? NO

21.Skipped doing homework to play a video game? YES, ALLTHE TIME

22.Tried to commit suicide? YES

23.The last time you felt broken? NOW 

24.Had to lie to EVERYONE about how you felt? YES

25.Do you have a Boyfriend/Girlfriend? NOBODY

26.Do you have Long hair OR short hair? SHORT

27.First thing you notice to a guy/girl? STYLE AND EYES

28.Do you sing in the shower? YES

29.Do you dance in the car? YES

30.Where were you yesterday? AT HOME

31.Ever used a bow and arrow? YES

32.Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? TODAY

33.Do you think musicals are cheesy? NOT AT ALL

34.Is Christmas stressful? YES

35.Favorite type of fruit pie? I DONT EAT PIE.

36.Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? Dr vet

37.Do you believe in ghosts? YES

38.Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? N0

39.Take a vitamin daily? YES

40.Wear slippers? YES

41.Wear a bath robe? NO

42.What do you wear to bed? GUNS N ROSES T SHIRT AND SHORTS

43.Do you want to get married? NO

44.Can you curl your tongue? NO

 

 

See you tomorrow cutiepies xx

LITTLE THINGS THAT MAKE YOU HAPPY

Hi bloggers!

Happy December doesn't exist, for me. Every single year.
At first, I never liked Christhmas, but this year I decided to be happy with my family and pretend that this is the best day of my life. But no. I can't even wait for Christmas, before something bad happened. Ugh. When I went home everything was ok. I go sleep and when I woke up, everything was wrong. I don't have enough energy for writing what happened, so, we will just, move on!



About two hours ago me and my mom, went shooping. We bought nothing actually, lol.
Anyway. When I was lost in shop. I saw something somethin and that make me happy. Like, I was so happy and I almost cry.
If you are watching youtubers and if you know who Alfie aka Pointlessblog is. He made ''photos'' no, I don't know exactly what they are.
Anyway I saw them. I think that they are not his. Or? But they are kinda the same. Well just one. The biggest.

Let me show you.

When I will move to London and when I will have my own flat I will buy them all. And I gonna be the happiest human alive.


Little things that make you happy.

Thats all for today and see you cutiepiesn tomorrow xx

Real friends?

Hi bloggers!
After two weeks I went back to school, just to get my notes. And I was thinking to myself: Anja nobody will give a damn about you; easy come, easy go.
Because nobody texted me when I was sick. Nobody really cares about me.
And then, school breake time. When my friends aka classmates saw me, they ALL started hugging me and they were all so nice to me. I was like wow. I did never expect that.
They were all aksing me: How am I, if I am coming back and stuff.
I still can't even believe. Well, I am not antisocial at all.
Its like I am talking to all people and they all actually like me, because I am always here for anyone and I am always so nice and lovely, no matter what, I always try to be happy around people. I don't like them thinking that, I am ''depressed'' (I am not!!).
Anyway
It was a big shock for me today.
And I was thinking:
Are they real friends?
No, they are not. This sounds a bit rude. But it's true. Isn't it? Even if they are nice to me. Nobody never ask me how I am or something like that.
And even worse.
I have one best friend. Well not anymore.. she is not best friend for me.
I was always special one, I had different taste of music, I wear different cloths, I think different, I am not like everyone else. And people were making fun of me. And I wasn't afraid of them. I was always proud of who I am. And I started to getting power. Everbody started to respect me, because I was different. And there was this friend. She started repeat after me. And she is now the same. She changed into me. She is my clone now. And I just can't take this anymore. Everything is so ugh. And I don't know what to do.
I told her everything I meant to. And she is jut so calm after all.
I don't know what to do anymore.

This is all for today cutiepies, see ya all tomorrow xx

How to deal with stress?

Hello there, bloggers!
I had no idea what to write and I asked my lovely friend for advice. So she said to write about release, why not?
I don't have any smart advices but here we go..

School is here, tests and stuff.
You don't have enough sleep, you panic alot; like about everything, you feel annoyed and I am sure you know that feeling, well I do.

 When this is happening to me I just try to don't care about that. But my inner voice is telling me to CARE and do something. Then I just leave everything. And I just go do some other stuff. Something when I forgot to worry. I just do things I love and enjoy like: playing guitar, reading books, watching youtubers, wasting my life on Tumblr. Because I think life is too short to worry and panic about things, which make you stressed. We must enjoy every single minute, we must do things we love, we don't need to stress.

But even when you feeling okay,after all, you must deal with things you don't like.
Just do it. No matter what. Make it fun. Make it interesting. You must make your life interesting and fun, because this is your life. You are making your own life, nobody else do. Live life you want, no matter what. Everything is in your hands. You do not have any excuses, you don't.

So make your life better NOW! Live life like you deserve, don't waste any other minute feeling sad and stressed and stuff. Because you don't deserve this. And you don't have to feel anxiety.

So thats all for today, see you cutiepies tomorrow xx

25 FACTS ABOUT ME

Hi bloggers!

Guess who's back, back, back, back again, again, again? Anx is back ,back, back.
So today is the day, its time for:

25 FACTS ABOUT ME

1. I am Anja, aka Anx
2. I have a lot of obsessions
3. I have a dog named Sky  (yorkshire terrier)
4. When I was 6 I had imaginery friends
5. My REAL best friend was 9 years older than me, and we match perfectly together, anyway.
6. I love games, cartoons and stuff like that
7. When I was small I was afraid of the dark, because I saw unusual stature and I still remember them.
8. When I was 6 I was tomboy till I was 10 (reason why nobody likes me)
9. I am in love with Nintendo, Gameboy etc.
10. And I am in love with Skins
11. I never watched like real Horror movie. Just Devil inside, which is funny to me.
12. I believe in Supernatural things
13. I don't have my favourite song or move, because I just can't decide.
14. My life goals are: to be happy, to be loved, to be successful youtuber, move to London.
15. I am hyperactive, MUCH, MUCH, MUCH
16. I am childish at the moments.
17. I have alot of friends, like. You know. Everbody talks to me and that. Everbody wants something from me. But I do not perceive them as real friends. I hate being the friend that is there for everyone, but is left alone when I need a shoulder to cry on..
18. My parents divorcedn when I was 5 and this was the worst thing in my life. But now I am ok with it.
19. I love baggy sweaters and leggins and vans shoes. Perf
20. I skate
21. I spend my whole time watchin youtubers, playing games, and reading books. Thats life.
22. I love bend merchs so freakin much, that I have just like 6 -.-
23. I want to go to the concerts of my favourite bands and just enjoy life.
24. I play guitar.
25. I love internet.

So there it is. 25 facts about me.
Comment, follow me, do whatever you want.
See ya tomorrow cutiepie xx

Deal with your own feelings

Hi bloggers!
I don't have any ideas, for this post, but oh well.

uhm
I don't have much readers, atm. I can't share this on Facebook, because everbody knows me haha.
My Tumblr is also privat. I have new Twitter account and I have like 11 followers, Lol.
Instagram, nope. So yeah, if you are reading this, you' re random person and u probably don't give a damn about me or this post..

I wanna talk about my feelings and stuff like that, because when someone asks you, how are you. The answer is always the same: Uhm ok, awesome, good.
But it is true?
Are you always okay? Are you always happy? If you re. You re my life inspiration and I am so happy for you xx

But there are people like me.
I am not okay. And there I don't need to hide my feelings. I will tell you my feelings. I will share them with you, because I think that you are special.

There is song by Paramore, called Last hope.

I dont even know myself at all
I thought I would be happy by now
But the more I try to push it
I realize gotta let go of control
Gotta let it happen
Gotta let it happen
Gotta let it happen
So let it happen

It's just a spark
But it's enough to keep me going
And when it's dark out, no one's around
It keeps glowing

Every night I try my best to dream
Tomorrow makes it better
And I wake up to the cold reality
And not a thing is changed

But it will happen
Gotta let it happen
Gotta let it happen
Gotta let it happen

 

And the salt in my wounds isnt burning any more than it used to
Its not that I dont feel the pain
Its just Im not afraid of hurting anymore

And the blood of these veins isnt pumping any less than it ever has
And thats the hope I have
The only thing I know is keeping me alive
Alive!

Gotta let it happen
Gotta let it happen
Gotta let it happen
Gotta let it happen
Gotta let it happen
Gotta let it happen
Gotta let it happen
Gotta let it happen

It's just a spark
But it's enough to keep me going
(So if I let go of control now, I can be strong)
And when its dark out, no ones around
It keeps glowing
It's just a spark
But it's enough to keep me going
(So if I keep my eyes closed, with a blind hope)
And when its dark out, no ones around
It keeps glowing

If you re feeling down or if you re really unprodoctive, grumpy, depressed and stuff like that.
Just don't
Life is really, but really too short, to waste your time on that unimportant things. Just go out with friends, do things that makes you happy. Or just try new things. Or just comment down below and we can talk.

Let me tell you my story:
About two years ago I was depressed. And with that, I mean really depressed. I was always telling to myself that I am not good enough, that I am a monster, that everbody hates me. I isolated myself from the others and I feel sorry for myself. I spend my days on the tumblr, reblogin' depressed pictures and following same people as me. Depressed, sad and lonely.
And if you are feeling like that. It's not your fault to feel like that. Its not your decision... And you are not attention seeker. And after one year and a half I decided to make my life better. I deleted my tumblr and I was trying to be happy. I started playing guitar, I started drawing, I started writing a book with my thoughts. I started to enjoy life. I stopped pretending that I am someone else and I started to be me. ME, ME AND only ME.

And when you are out of depression. There are still those times, when you feel depressed. But then you realiye that you are so much important, to be sad.
And then you just have to go trough this period.

You must realize who you are and how important you are.
 
See you tomorrow, cutiepie.
xx

Internet friends in real life

I was really bored, one day. So I decided to talk with one girl, ON FACEBOOK .Palm face. We talked about five months, and we were really close. She was so friendly and all. We always talked about how much we want to see each other in real life. But we never had a chance. 

We started to talk less and less. And then we talked only about once a week. And then we finally never talked.

One day about a month ago, she send me picture on snapchat and we talked. Not alot, but we talked.

At first we were really close. She knows everything about me and I know everything about her.

THANKS TO THE INTERNET TO HELP ME MAKE FRIENDS.

*to the point*

I went to doctor today, because I have problems with my lungs and I can't breathe normal. Anyway. I was waiting for the results of x-ray and blood. And there was a girl. She was acting like she is something more, like she is more important, and i don't like people like that. I watched her and she seemed so familiar. And i was just: Oh crap, not you. She watched me too, but I was acting cold as ice. Then I went to facebook and I realized that she is that girl. This meeting was so awkward and annoying. And we were there just ignoring each other.

I guess I will never make friends on the internet, or just?

But I have one internet friend right  now, well idk for how long we talked but, we talked alot and we never met before. And she is just sweet and so nice. And I dont know what would be with me, without her, so thanks darlin' for everything xx.

And I can't wait to see you one day and hug you.

See you tomorrow, thanks for reading xx

Hi!

Hi bloggers! I am new here and this can be awkward, but I don't mind since now. Huh, well.

So let me describe myself first:

I am Anja, from Slovenia, with weird short hair, good taste in music and awkward sense of humor. I am really antisocial. Its not, that I don't like people, it's just that, I am really nervous around them and I talk to myself most of the time. I don't talk about my age alot, because I am trapped in my own age. And alot of people are just like: Yeah you look 17, wow, gurl. Awkward. So you can just guess how old I am. But I will never tell you. You can now think to yourself, wow mystery girl, this is just waste of my time. Maybe it is, maybe it's not.

I decided to start this blog because I have alot of things to share with someone. And I choose you. Such things about which I will write  here, i can't trust the people around me. But I must share things with people, maybe I can even help someone and this can make my day.

This gonna be my diary, actually. So you can follow me everyday, you will know everything about me and maybe this things are happening to you. And we can go trough this, together.

And i promise you, my next post will be more interesting.
Bye guys, xxx