Who am I

Hi bloggers!

I am sorry for not posting about a week? Everything was so frustrated and I don't know what is happening with me, sometimes I am so happy that I can do everything and then I can cry and never be ok again.

I have really strange dreams tonight. Teachers found mv blog and they were all so worry and stuff. And I am afraid, what if this really happens. What Will I do?

I was thinking, that I deleted everything and just deal with myself.
And then, Well I don't know what I am supposed to do.
It's just, so many things are happening right now and I don't know what I want I just don't, I don't know, I really don't.

Ugh, anyway, hope you all have a great christmas and see u soon.
bye cutiepies xx

From Anxiety too big plans and HAPPINESS

These days are back.


It was about 8 pm and we were drinking tea and eating biscuits.
I don't know how many I ate but I wasn't feeling well. It was too much for me.


I eat too much now. Everyday, too damn much. I am afraid to check my weight.
I am not fat. And I am not skinny. And either I am not happy with myself. I go to gym twice a week. But now I can't. I must wait till New year. I mean I want to be healthy and I want to lose weight, like 10 kilograms would be perfect. And I Will do that, because I can. I don't eat much sweets, I guess. I tried without them and I can do it, but when I don't feel like it, I just eat idk piece of chocolate. And then I feel really bad. And yeah. This is happening. And I think: You will not eat tomorrow much.
Tomorrow everythin will be different. I will make a plan. And I gonna write about that on my blog.
And I will tell you everything.


1. No sweets!
2. Whatch what I eat and how much!
3. Be proud of myself!
4. Check weight every day!
5. Be healthy!
6. Study!
7. Spend 3 hours away from computer!
8. Be happy and do things I love!
9. Write everything and put this on internet!
10.


Why I decided to do that:
I wanna wear skate skirts and stuff in summer and I wanna be happy with my body, I wanna be confident with myself. I wanna go out and show people what I do, how hard I worked, etc.


I know that I can wear skirts now. Everbody can wear what they want no matter what!
YES! they can. But they must be confident in their own body! And I am not, And I gonna work on this, With every single day I gonna be better and stronger!


And I gonna wear everything what I can't wear before. And I will be so damn proud of myself. And everbody gonna watch me. And all this people will just stare at me like I am made of gold.


I will post pictures there, when I gonna be happy with myself. And we all gonna be happy.


I am so excited right now and it hurts some how that I am alone in this. But I can do this. Yes, I can!


I just can't wait for results!


See you tomorrow cutiepies, night xx

No limit

Hello bloggers, I saw this on tumblr and yes.

 

 

1.Kissed a girl? NO

2.Kissed a boy? NO

3.Had sex in public? NO

4.What’s your religion? Christian

5.What does your URL mean? PURE HEROIN?

6.Reason you joined tumblr? IMAGINES

7.Do you have any nicknames? YES

8.Do you like bubble bath? YES

9.Kissed in the rain? No

10.Dyed your hair? YES

11.Soup or salad? SALAD

12.Vegetable or meat? VEGEATABLE

13.Go out drinking? NO

14.Smoke cigarettes? YES

15.Smoke weed? NO

16.Do any hard drugs? NO

17.Have you had sex today? NO

18.Have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms? YES

19.The relationship between you and the person you last texted? IDK

20.Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes? NO

21.Skipped doing homework to play a video game? YES, ALLTHE TIME

22.Tried to commit suicide? YES

23.The last time you felt broken? NOW 

24.Had to lie to EVERYONE about how you felt? YES

25.Do you have a Boyfriend/Girlfriend? NOBODY

26.Do you have Long hair OR short hair? SHORT

27.First thing you notice to a guy/girl? STYLE AND EYES

28.Do you sing in the shower? YES

29.Do you dance in the car? YES

30.Where were you yesterday? AT HOME

31.Ever used a bow and arrow? YES

32.Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? TODAY

33.Do you think musicals are cheesy? NOT AT ALL

34.Is Christmas stressful? YES

35.Favorite type of fruit pie? I DONT EAT PIE.

36.Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? Dr vet

37.Do you believe in ghosts? YES

38.Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? N0

39.Take a vitamin daily? YES

40.Wear slippers? YES

41.Wear a bath robe? NO

42.What do you wear to bed? GUNS N ROSES T SHIRT AND SHORTS

43.Do you want to get married? NO

44.Can you curl your tongue? NO

 

 

See you tomorrow cutiepies xx

LITTLE THINGS THAT MAKE YOU HAPPY

Hi bloggers!

Happy December doesn't exist, for me. Every single year.
At first, I never liked Christhmas, but this year I decided to be happy with my family and pretend that this is the best day of my life. But no. I can't even wait for Christmas, before something bad happened. Ugh. When I went home everything was ok. I go sleep and when I woke up, everything was wrong. I don't have enough energy for writing what happened, so, we will just, move on!



About two hours ago me and my mom, went shooping. We bought nothing actually, lol.
Anyway. When I was lost in shop. I saw something somethin and that make me happy. Like, I was so happy and I almost cry.
If you are watching youtubers and if you know who Alfie aka Pointlessblog is. He made ''photos'' no, I don't know exactly what they are.
Anyway I saw them. I think that they are not his. Or? But they are kinda the same. Well just one. The biggest.

Let me show you.

When I will move to London and when I will have my own flat I will buy them all. And I gonna be the happiest human alive.


Little things that make you happy.

Thats all for today and see you cutiepiesn tomorrow xx

Real friends?

Hi bloggers!
After two weeks I went back to school, just to get my notes. And I was thinking to myself: Anja nobody will give a damn about you; easy come, easy go.
Because nobody texted me when I was sick. Nobody really cares about me.
And then, school breake time. When my friends aka classmates saw me, they ALL started hugging me and they were all so nice to me. I was like wow. I did never expect that.
They were all aksing me: How am I, if I am coming back and stuff.
I still can't even believe. Well, I am not antisocial at all.
Its like I am talking to all people and they all actually like me, because I am always here for anyone and I am always so nice and lovely, no matter what, I always try to be happy around people. I don't like them thinking that, I am ''depressed'' (I am not!!).
Anyway
It was a big shock for me today.
And I was thinking:
Are they real friends?
No, they are not. This sounds a bit rude. But it's true. Isn't it? Even if they are nice to me. Nobody never ask me how I am or something like that.
And even worse.
I have one best friend. Well not anymore.. she is not best friend for me.
I was always special one, I had different taste of music, I wear different cloths, I think different, I am not like everyone else. And people were making fun of me. And I wasn't afraid of them. I was always proud of who I am. And I started to getting power. Everbody started to respect me, because I was different. And there was this friend. She started repeat after me. And she is now the same. She changed into me. She is my clone now. And I just can't take this anymore. Everything is so ugh. And I don't know what to do.
I told her everything I meant to. And she is jut so calm after all.
I don't know what to do anymore.

This is all for today cutiepies, see ya all tomorrow xx

How to deal with stress?

Hello there, bloggers!
I had no idea what to write and I asked my lovely friend for advice. So she said to write about release, why not?
I don't have any smart advices but here we go..

School is here, tests and stuff.
You don't have enough sleep, you panic alot; like about everything, you feel annoyed and I am sure you know that feeling, well I do.

 When this is happening to me I just try to don't care about that. But my inner voice is telling me to CARE and do something. Then I just leave everything. And I just go do some other stuff. Something when I forgot to worry. I just do things I love and enjoy like: playing guitar, reading books, watching youtubers, wasting my life on Tumblr. Because I think life is too short to worry and panic about things, which make you stressed. We must enjoy every single minute, we must do things we love, we don't need to stress.

But even when you feeling okay,after all, you must deal with things you don't like.
Just do it. No matter what. Make it fun. Make it interesting. You must make your life interesting and fun, because this is your life. You are making your own life, nobody else do. Live life you want, no matter what. Everything is in your hands. You do not have any excuses, you don't.

So make your life better NOW! Live life like you deserve, don't waste any other minute feeling sad and stressed and stuff. Because you don't deserve this. And you don't have to feel anxiety.

So thats all for today, see you cutiepies tomorrow xx

25 FACTS ABOUT ME

Hi bloggers!

Guess who's back, back, back, back again, again, again? Anx is back ,back, back.
So today is the day, its time for:

25 FACTS ABOUT ME

1. I am Anja, aka Anx
2. I have a lot of obsessions
3. I have a dog named Sky  (yorkshire terrier)
4. When I was 6 I had imaginery friends
5. My REAL best friend was 9 years older than me, and we match perfectly together, anyway.
6. I love games, cartoons and stuff like that
7. When I was small I was afraid of the dark, because I saw unusual stature and I still remember them.
8. When I was 6 I was tomboy till I was 10 (reason why nobody likes me)
9. I am in love with Nintendo, Gameboy etc.
10. And I am in love with Skins
11. I never watched like real Horror movie. Just Devil inside, which is funny to me.
12. I believe in Supernatural things
13. I don't have my favourite song or move, because I just can't decide.
14. My life goals are: to be happy, to be loved, to be successful youtuber, move to London.
15. I am hyperactive, MUCH, MUCH, MUCH
16. I am childish at the moments.
17. I have alot of friends, like. You know. Everbody talks to me and that. Everbody wants something from me. But I do not perceive them as real friends. I hate being the friend that is there for everyone, but is left alone when I need a shoulder to cry on..
18. My parents divorcedn when I was 5 and this was the worst thing in my life. But now I am ok with it.
19. I love baggy sweaters and leggins and vans shoes. Perf
20. I skate
21. I spend my whole time watchin youtubers, playing games, and reading books. Thats life.
22. I love bend merchs so freakin much, that I have just like 6 -.-
23. I want to go to the concerts of my favourite bands and just enjoy life.
24. I play guitar.
25. I love internet.

So there it is. 25 facts about me.
Comment, follow me, do whatever you want.
See ya tomorrow cutiepie xx